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So, let's rewind to last year, the year I said goodbye to 25 pounds and, subsequently, bid adieu to my entire wardrobe. Okay, I'm exaggerating a little bit. But not by much. I'd spent years curating a wardrobe that matched the weight I'd settled into. It was like we were soulmates, my clothes, my weight, and I. But when the weight began to shed, the relationship fell apart. And I got left holding the bag (full of ill-fitting clothes). As we cruised into 2024, I finally faced the music and did a closet overhaul. Let me tell you, it wasn't the joyous experience you might imagine. Out went the clothes that were tents on me, but also out went everything I had loved. There was heartbreak. There were tears. But it all had to go. Now it's like I'm back to square one. And guess what? I'm not prepared for the chaos. There are gaping holes in my closet. Every day is a struggle to get dressed. Where are all my jeans??? But hey, that's life throwing you curveballs, right? Honestly, it's not all bad. Turns out, I'm ready to shake things up a bit. I'm ready to embark on the journey of rebuilding my wardrobe from scratch. Why? Because I'm ready for a bit of transformation in my life (see last year's weight loss). And, according to the gospel of reality TV, any good transformation starts with a fresh wardrobe. First up: the basics. I'm talking tees, tanks, and little black dresses – you know, foundational pieces. The essentials for getting dressed. Basics are like the building blocks of fashion, hence the name "foundational pieces." They give your wardrobe something to stand on. With a good set of basics, you can build outfits that lean into your unique style. So this spring, my wishlist is, well, pretty basic. And you know what? I'm fine with that. Embracing the basic life is my path to a comeback. Here's what's on my (quite basic) spring shopping list: Note: Items in this post have been hand-selected by me and may contain affiliate links. I may earn a commission or other benefit from items you choose to buy. This comes at no cost to you but does help support this website and other social endeavors. Thanks in advance for your support. OLD NAVY Oversized Button Down Boyfriend Shirt Stripes: Basic. Button-down shirt: Basic. Striped button-down shirt: Basic + BANANA REPUBLIC FACTORY Timeless T-Shirt The ULTIMATE basic. J. CREW Marlow Sandal Anything that feels like a fancy Birkenstock is an elevated basic. Also, who knew that Birkenstocks would become an essential basic? EXPRESS Editor Mid Rise Relaxed Trouser Pant It's the relaxed vibe that makes these basic trousers feel hella cool. CARIUMA Catiba Pro Low Sneaker Perhaps the least basic item on this list. Because it's the coolest skate shoe I've ever seen. Z SUPPLY All Day Knit Denim Shacket No one is getting applause for owning a denim shirt. They're everywhere. But a denim shacket? In a super soft knit? That's something to write home about. PACSUN Medium Indigo Wide Leg Jeans So fabulous that they are beyond basic. GAP Shaker Knit Cardigan Boring, but oh so good. Who's ready for some eclectic grandpa chic?

I have pondered whether to come back to writing this blog. If you've never written a blog or been a content creator, let me tell you, it's WORK. You've got to be consistent. You've got to be creative. You've got to be consistently creative. And you might need a little hustle. While I am creative (most of the time...I admit to being in a bit of a rut lately), I am NOT consistent. And Hustle? I don't know her. So why? Why am I back? You. It's all about you. YOU are the reason I had to get back to this work. I had to think about all the people asking me for style advice. I had to think about everyone influenced by my shopping and style. I had to think about you. You need a fashionable friend. You need me as your fashionable fairy god-auntie, full of style, wit, and magic. So here I am. For you.

So. We're doing this again? Yes, yes we are. And I don't want to hear a word about it. Let's just get on with it. Welcome back.

My husband posed this question to me recently. I looked him in the eye and retorted back, "How many records do you need?" At first glance, vinyl and denim don't seem comparable. As a collector and curator of clothing, though, I argue that they are. "Music is endless," you say, "There's so many styles and artists and genres." My reply? Indeed, and so is denim. Owning a single pair of jeans to cover all my bases seems ludicrous. I need variety. A bootcut pair for heels and boots (obvi). A wide leg pair for a more upscale look (they are clutch as a substitute for trousers). An oversized pair for relaxed days. A white pair and a cropped pair for summer days. Black jeans for days I want to add edge. A skinny pair for that early aughts aesthetic. A straight leg pair for every day. And, of course, I'll need them in different washes, lengths, and rises. I'll need some with lots of distressing, some mildly distressed, and some without a stitch of distressing anywhere. I'll also need some with a smidge of stretch and few that are rigid. The possibilities are, well, endless. Even if you're a leggings girl (which I am not), a well rounded denim drawer is key. You might not invest in as many pairs as I do, but a few solid pairs will elevate your wardrobe. How many pairs, exactly, should that be? Well, I suppose that depends. As a denim lover, I'm biased. But if I had to go out on a limb, I'd say no less than three. You need at least one classic, full length pair of jeans that suit your body type. A straight leg jean is good for most and will never go out of style. Opt for something not too relaxed and not too fitted. Buy them in a clean, dark wash with minimal to no distressing. That pair will be your "good pair." Baby them. Don't over wash them (over washing denim is a big no-no if you want them to last. Only wash them when they're dirty or stretched out). Don't wear them for weekend chores. This is the pair that will take you to work, a dinner party, bar hopping, and back again. Beyond that, I recommend adding at least two other pairs to your wardrobe in styles that you love. Own one pair for piddling around your house and running errands in. And then another pair that you can wear with your favorite casual sandals. A cute cropped pair would be ideal for that situation. If you're into jeans, consider a trendy pair. Low rise jeans are back and so are oversized, baggy jeans. Flare jeans are also a great wardrobe edition, although it can be challenging to find the perfect pair. Be prepared to hunt for them. I read somewhere that the average woman owns 7 pairs (please don't ask me to reference that, but doesn't it sound like a good number?). That sounds reasonable to me. At least for a non-collector. As for me? Someone please ask my hubby to clear out some records to make space for my new jeans.

I playfully refer to myself as a shopaholic. But, I actually consider myself a curator of clothes. I don't shop willy-nilly, adding every shiny or trendy thing to my wardrobe. I have more respect for my closet than that (although granted, 2022 was an anomaly. I bought a lot of trash that didn't suit me or my style). Rather I love to pick and choose unique, quirky, edgy, classic, and stylish pieces for my closet one at a time. I (usually) build my wardrobe, piece by piece, filling my life with items I am enamored with. Even still, I, too, sometimes fall victim to the "I have nothing to wear" blues. And when I do, it is time for a closet edit. It's second nature for me to zip through my closet and pare down. I often pick a section (dresses, jeans, jackets, etc.) and cull, cull, cull. These quick clean-outs keep my collection edited and focused. But every now and again, I have to do a larger cleanse, from top to bottom, and give myself a fresh start. For the untrained in closet cleansing, where do you begin? I'd say the first thing you have to clean up is your attitude. Before you start, you have to be in a mindset of letting go. Never clean out your closet when you're feeling needy or sentimental. You'll end up justifying why you should keep every item and throw out nothing. Which defeats the purpose and wastes your time. No, come at it from a place of, "I am releasing the past. I am letting go of baggage. I am moving forward unfettered and surrounded by great clothes." Try it. It works. I have a large collection of clothing. Thus I like to work in sections so I have natural stopping points if I get overwhelmed. Of course, if your collection is smaller than mine, you can tackle it all at once. I start by pulling out anything I know I don't want. That's the easy stuff. And it gets the momentum going. Next, I set aside anything I know I want to keep. Now, hear me out. Consideration for this pile means the item must have been recently worn (like, say, within the last season). I had to have had NO issues with it. I didn't have to fuss with it. I didn't struggle to style it. They are pieces I wear over and over again and love. Anything questionable - whether for style, fit, age, or something else - cannot go in the keep pile. At least not yet. Everything that remains must be tried on. MUST. No exceptions. Because this is the stuff that can make or break your closet. And usually, there is a lot of it. This is the stuff that is making you wishy-washy when you're getting dressed. It makes you think outfits are there that aren't. And it fills your closet, giving the impression that you have things to wear - when, in fact, you don't. These items are very deceptive. Which is why you must try each one on. Determine which items of clothing are legit and wonderful and waiting to be worn. And which ones are the detractors. While trying on, here are some keys to keep in mind. Anything that doesn't fit must go. Anything that's not your personal style must go. (Don't know your personal style? Start here. It's key to paring down your closet. How will you know what you should be keeping/tossing if you don't know the look you're trying to achieve?) Unless it's very well made or designer, anything older than ten years old should go (there are a few exceptions. But only a few). If you run across items you're keeping for sentimental reasons, consider whether they deserve to take up space in your closet. Would a picture of you in the item suffice? Is a memory good enough? Sentimental items are tricky, I know. I allow myself to keep a few, but one must not get carried away, lest you never make room for new memory-making clothes. Be very ruthless when it comes to those items. Don't forget shoes, bags, jewelry, sleepwear, and undergarments. Especially undergarments. Please toss stretched-out knickers and threadbare bras. They are no longer serving you. You deserve better. Same for sleepwear. Consider how badly you need and want to hold on to that tattered college sweatshirt you sleep in every night. Instead think of how amazing it will feel to cozy up in a soft, new, matching PJ set. Just think about it. Under no circumstances may you add any clothing from your toss pile to your sleepwear drawer. Do you hear me? Not allowed. Now, what to do with those piles of rejected clothes and accessories? Here are some options: Have a swap party. If you've got a few friends who are roughly the same size, have a clothing swap. Everyone gets to clean out their old things and trade them for something "new." Resell. Sites like Poshmark, Mercari, Depop, and eBay can help you recoup some of your clothing costs. You'll need to do the work to see the results (snapping photos, writing descriptions, negotiating the price). But you can use your profits towards something new! Send nicer items to a resale site or to a consignment store. Not interested in all the work or reselling? Let a site like ThredUp do it for you. Or find a local store that will sell your items on consignment or pay cash for them upfront. Either way, the clothes are gone and you've got money (or store credit!) in your pocket. Donate. Goodwill is the easy option but also look for charity centers that have specific needs, like Dress For Success. These kinds of donation centers will make sure that items or resources get to those who need them most. Trash or fabric recycling. Discard anything that's not worth donating (damaged, stained, etc.). If you can find a fabric recycling facility, that's the best option. If not, send those tattered clothes to their final resting place. That, dear friend, is how you get to a beautifully pared-down closet. Imagine waking up to a wardrobe full of things you want to wear. Ahhhh. You'll be able to tell where the holes are now, too. Without all that fluff, you can see that you're missing a pair of dark wash jeans and an oversized blazer. You can assess that your t-shirt drawer is a little light. Or that you need a new pair of heels for work. All things you couldn't recognize when your closet was full of, well, everything.

Uuuuugggghhh. Why am I doing this to myself??? Well, I know exactly why. I spent too much money on clothing in 2022 and now I'm paying the price. Enter: Dry January - Shopaholics Edition. I know this is a challenge usually reserved for those detoxing from a boozy holiday season. But I fail to see how it doesn't apply to shopping as well. Granted, I didn't confine my spending spree to just the holidays... But a detox, of sorts, seems in order, anyway. So, what's the deal? Well, I'm going to TRY to not do any shopping for clothes, shoes, or accessories for the entire month of January. I can hear you laughing. I hear cackling from those who know me best. I mean, I write a blog dedicated to shopping for those things. Who am I?? I will be honest and tell you that my willpower is already waning. Today I've seen three tops and a pair of jeans I think I should have in my life. Someone, please remind me: The first weeks are the hardest. The first weeks are the hardest. The first weeks are the hardest. Someone also please remind me not to binge on everything I avoided when this is over. Thank you.

Happy New Year, folks. When I started this post, I was going to reflect on all that was 2022 (or, actually, what it wasn't). I was going to talk about the items you all loved that I wasn't into. I was going to comment on my closet crisis. I was going to tell you about how I ended up working in a clothing store I can't afford to shop in. But that was depressing. Really depressing. No, thank you. So instead you're getting, well, not much. Except for a simple wish that you get what you want: in life, in love, in all the areas that matter most to you. Most especially I hope that you get what you want where it counts: in your closet. I wish it for me, too. P.S. - If you want to get more of what you want in your closet, you should sign up for my newsletter, What I Want. It's free and not spammy (mostly because I don't have it in me to write that much email). The next letter will be going out soon (I hope), so get signed up for the fun here.

The New Year’s Eve outfit: theoretically the least worn items of clothing in your wardrobe. The lame dress? The sequin jacket? The velvet pants? When will they ever see the light of day again? We could, of course, theorize how to wear them beyond the clink of champagne glasses... But what are the odds? I posit the entrance of the accessory. Rather than dropping tons of coins on a one-wear outfit, consider dropping fewer coins on stunning accessories. It’s good for your wallet, your closet, and (likely) the environment. Think about it: Suzy is sure to remember the spectacular sequin top you wore last year, but how likely is she to remember the sizzling earrings? While you'll pull those earrings out for some other special occasion, what will you do with that top? Here's my solution: keep the outfit low drama. Go for shades of black, dark denim, forgettable but still snazzy stilettos. Maybe a navy blazer. But go BIG on the accessories. Glam earrings, sparkly bangles, and enough zirconia necklaces to make folks wonder. Zazzle the room with your breadth of accessories. Then let people coo over the fabulous NYE outfit that they won’t remember. Next year? Change up the outfit base (hello, photos!) and rearrange the jewels in new and unexpected ways. Add a new piece (this could become a tradition!) and awe your friends over and over again. Away with one-time outfits that will forever languish in your closet. Hello to baubles that will delight year after year! Happy New Year! SHOP a curated jewelry collection perfect for NYE (and beyond!) below. Note: Items in this post have been hand selected by me and may contain affiliate links. I may earn a commission or other benefit from items you choose to buy. This comes at no cost to you but does help support this website and other social endeavors. Thanks in advance for your support.

If you're one of those people who started shopping in July, this post is not for you. If you even started back in November, this post is not for you. This one is for the real procrastinators. For the ones who don't bother with Christmas shopping until they hear the distant jingle of Santa readying his slay. In other words, this is for the folks who put their faith in Amazon Prime and a fully stocked Target (as if that exists, lol!). This is for the people who perform best when they are up against the clock. This, my fellow procrastinator, is the gift guide for you! I trekked through Amazon (you're welcome) to find gifts that 1) would ship in time for Christmas, 2) were affordable (in case you were like me and procrastinated because you didn't have funds), and 3) people would actually like or use. Is it me or are there a lot of gift guides out there with a ton of crap on them? If anyone sees a gift guide for men that isn't full of wallets, grilling accessories, and whiskey stones, let me know. Of course, at the end of this exercise you may think my list is full of crap, too. But if you're two days out from Christmas, do you have time to be judging me? You have shopping to do! One last thing of note: this guide leans towards more fashionable gifts. I'm a fashionista and I can't help it. But if everyone on your list isn't as style minded as they should be, this guide might inspire you to find other fun things for your loved ones. Finally, if push comes to shove, no one doesn't love a digital gift card. Amazon for the win! Merry Christmas, happiest of holidays, and good luck! P.S.: Items in this post have been hand selected by me and may contain affiliate links. I may earn a commission or other benefit from items you choose to buy. This comes at no cost to you but does help support this website and other social endeavors. Thanks in advance for your support. P.P.S.: As of the publishing of this post, all items were available and scheduled to arrive before Christmas. Apologies in advance for anything that is out of stock or no longer available to arrive before the holiday. If you're in a crunch, check your local stores for similar, in-stock items. For Women Of A Certain Age: Studious Reading Glasses These got passed around at a recent White Elephant exchange and we were all in awe. If you're a person of a certain age, you will appreciate these. I can't tell you the number of friends I have who are in denial about their eyesight. Mostly because they're afraid of the dreaded reader. Pshaw! I say. A chic pair of readers clears up so many things (so to speak). I love these because of their convenience and slim design. They slide right into this magnetic case that sticks to your phone (where you need them most). And, believe it or not, they stay put! These tiny readers stay on your nose and give you that air of being more adult than you are. SHOP: ThinOptics Reading Glasses For Women Who Can't Stop/Won't Stop Scrolling: Blue Light Blocking Glasses Speaking of eyes, in this ultra digital age, let's protect our peepers from all that nasty blue light with a pair of blue light blocking glasses. These were highly rated on Amazon and I love the classic look. As a matter of fact, I'm thinking of gifting a pair to myself as my eyes are worn out from doing all this last minute shopping online (this is not a task for the faint of heart - or faint of eye!) SHOP: Madison Avenue Blue Light Blocking Glasses For The Woman Who Wants To Feel Like Her Purse Is Organized, Even If It Isn't: Slim Card Case Wallet Getting a card case style wallet was the best thing I ever did for my purse. Not only is it slim enough to fit into the smallest bags (or back pockets), but it neatly contains my plethora of cards (I am a shopaholic, after all. My AMEX? Never leave home without it.). This little gem has the bonus of having RFID blocking technology. That means an extra layer of security, particularly when traveling. This baby has 16 card slots and zippered pockets for cash or receipts. SHOP: Travelambo RFID Blocking Wallet For The Woman Who Likes To Make A Statement: A Conversation Starting Handbag Look at it! What fashionista wouldn't be in love? Now, this is not a practical, every day bag. Who needs more of those boring things? This is a statement bag. This is the bag you take to brunch to make your friends ask, in awe, "Where did you get that?" It's also the bag you tote to your family Christmas party where your mother in law asks, in disgust, "Where did you get that?" Either way, you're the talk of the town! SHOP: The Drop Women's Avalon Small Tote Bag For The Woman Still Building Her Wardrobe Basics: A Neutral Leather Belt Belts seem so basic. I can only assume that's why most of us have too few of them in our wardrobes. Yet despite their basicness, they are a wardrobe necessity. They define waists, hold up stretchy jeans, and help us out when we're "between sizes". Many an outfit have been saved by the un-ubiquitous belt. This one is beautiful, in a neutral color, designed (hopefully) to last. The hardware was the kicker for me: a beautiful gold tone in a non-traditional shape. SHOP: SUOSDEY Leather Belt For The Woman Who Thinks Shackets Are For Lumberjacks: The Cropped Shacket Who even made up that word? Shacket. Ugh. I'm not an outdoor activities kind of gal (although I did get into hiking this year. I know, weird.). So I have no use for clothing that makes you look like you are an outdoor activities kind of gal. Like, that whole apres-ski trend? No, thank you. But I digress. My point is: shackets aren't my thing...unless it's this super cute, cropped version in a take on winter white. I'm. So. In. Love. And your shuns-all-things-axe-related giftee will be too. SHOP: Yeokou Cropped Flannel Plaid Shacket For The Woman Who Doesn't Have Time For Nail Salons: Press On Manicure I have long been a fan of the press on manicure. I've tried at least two handfuls of brands, but I always come back to these. The Impress brand last longest and has the nicest range of colors and designs. I also love that they come in a variety of lengths for those of us who don't want to look like Cardi B. SHOP: imPRESS Color Press-On Nails (I linked to the ones on Amazon, but you can pick these up in any drugstore. For a gift, I'd suggest purchasing an array of styles/colors so they can have a new mani every remaining week of the winter!) For The Woman Who Thinks Everyday Is A Celebration: Confetti Earrings I have a similar pair of these little bundles of joy. They make me so happy that I am inclined to wear them with everything. Thankfully they have this fun confetti that includes a multitude of colors so that I can wear them with everything. They feel like a party and would be perfect to wear this New Year's Eve - even if her only plans are to sit on the couch and watch the Times Square countdown. She'll feel so festive. SHOP: Humble Chic Glitter Stud Earrings For The Woman Who Wants To Feel Special: Layered Initial Necklace With an unusual name, I never got to feel that little rush of excitement you get when you spot your name on a key chain. I can't go into a gift shop and buy a name necklace off the rack. But I could always find my initial. And in my own way, I got to be Carrie Bradshaw with her signature nameplate necklace. It was just a truncated version. But nonetheless special. And your gift recipient will feel the same way. Especially when she realizes that all the work of finding the right layering necklaces is done for her. SHOP: M MOOHAM Layered Initial Necklace in Rose Gold For The Woman Who Can't Bring Herself To Pull The Trigger On The Lululemon "It" Bag: A Dupe Of The Lululemon "It" Bag It's always out of stock anyway. So save her the agony and buy her this cute little belt bag instead. Many reviewers claim it's a pretty good dupe and the price tag is perfect for last minute gifters. And it's in stock! And it arrives before Christmas! And she'll look like a trendsetter - which is the most important perk of all. SHOP: ODODOS Unisex Mini Belt Bag For The TRUE Fashionista: An Iconic History of Black Models Real fashionistas don't just love clothes. They also love the history behind the clothes. Which makes this coffee table book a particularly great gift. Full of beautiful photos, this book looks at how black women broke fashion barriers and helped to usher in an new era of diversity and inclusion. SHOP: Supreme Models: Iconic Black Women Who Revolutionized Fashion For The Woman Who Wants To Wake Up Cute: Satiny Scrunchies If you have hair long enough to put into a ponytail, these should be an essential. They keep your hair up and out of the way while you sleep, avoiding smooshed strands and frizz. Because of the satiny material you'll avoid the breakage other hair ties can cause. And no more waking up to a reflection with crazy hair! Despite their virtuous nature, I'm surprised by the number of folks who don't own satin scrunchies. You can change this. In one simple gift. I promise, they'll thank you in the morning. SHOP: Celestial Silk Mulberry Silk Scrunchies

I used to buy tights by the fistful. Every fall, as the weather started to chill, I'd head into my local discount store (read: Target) and buy tights. You could get them for about five or six dollars in an array of colors. I always bought a pair of basic black and a creamy ivory. After that, it was whatever I thought would work in my wardrobe that year. I had tights in reds, blues, and even a pair in a hot pink. As my wardrobe got more sophisticated, I ventured out to the department stores for tights. I would pick up durable pairs by Hue and sleek pairs from DKNY (Now those were a splurge! I think I paid $25 for a pair, but they felt like butter.). Even in those bougie years, I still had a stock of budget pairs because, let's face it, they run, snag, and are not made to last. Then came my "I refuse to be cold" period. That's when I stopped wearing dresses in winter. Instead I opted for pants, jeans, and cozy leggings. Anything that would stop the wind from coming into contact with my legs. Tights didn't cut it and so I cut them out. I used to be able to look into my sock drawer and see a few pairs of tights left over from the previous year. I had them for a just in case moment. It's always been that way. Until it wasn't. Earlier this month I promised my Instagram followers a session on styling shorts with tights. Because why should you ignore a chunk of your wardrobe for half of the year? So I went to my sock drawer, peeked inside, and what should I find? No tights. !!!!! Well, this was a problem. But easily solved, right? Wrong. I trotted into my local discount store (Walmart this time) and found not a single tight in sight. Plenty or leggings. But no tights. Had the rest of the world given up on tights, too? I checked the Target app to see what I could pick up from my local store. The answer? Next to nothing. I could buy only the most basic basic tights in brown or red. That's it. And they were $8.50! Hello, Inflation. (Note: they were available in 5 colorways available for shipping. None of them black.) Okay, it was time to go online. Google, show me the best women's tights. Always wanting to please, Google did not let me down. It brought up a plethora of tights I could read about, browse, and buy. I even discovered the fleece lined pairs that were blowing up on Tik Tok (of course). It also alerted me to the fact that tights were no longer a cheap commodity. Most pairs were starting at $20 (!!) and went up to over $50 (!!!). Who was paying $50 for such a risky item of clothing? As anyone who's worn tights knows, you are as likely to snag or run them on the first wear as you are on the fifth wear. You never know. It's a gamble. Which is why $5 was more my speed. But we can't live in the past, can we? So now my search begins for tights that I can style with shorts. What an adventure! I never imagined such a simple styling request would send me down such a massive rabbit hole. But here we go! SHOP a curated collection of tights below. Note: Items in this post have been hand selected by me and may contain affiliate links. I may earn a commission or other benefit from items you choose to buy. This comes at no cost to you but does help support this website and other social endeavors. Thanks in advance for your support.

Note: Items in this post have been hand selected by me and may contain affiliate links. I may earn a commission or other benefit from items you choose to buy. This comes at no cost to you but does help support this website and other social endeavors. Thanks in advance for your support. I never intended to be the woman who wore Birkenstock. (Of course, I also never intended to be the woman who wasted $120K on a degree she would never use and instead wile away her days at her mall job as if she were 16 instead of 46. But that's another story.) Birkenstock were for granola girls and women much more anti-establishment than I. No, I always envisioned myself to be more trendy, sophisticated, and...well...well-heeled. In my head I was a glamour girl. I spent my 20s on dance floors in dimly lit clubs with vodka laced drinks in my hand. And in my 30s I surrounded myself with tulle and lace, buying and selling the most beautiful gowns in the world. Does any of that sound like it pairs with clunky, buckled shoes? Definitely not. I intended to have a closet full of Jimmy Choos and Christian Louboutins. I was going to grow up to be Carrie Bradshaw, cooing, "Hello, lover," at the latest 4 inch heels. Yet, here I am. Mid forties. Working at the mall. In my Birkenstock. Feeling more like an off-duty Miranda than a well-heeled Carrie. With socks, even! Who am I? I am sure there is some deeper meaning here that I'll need to work out in therapy. Something to do with identity, acceptance, being present, or some other therapeutic ideology. But until that gets worked out, I am leaning in to the fact that my knees hurt when I wear unsuportive shoes. And that my hip pops out of alignment when I stand in heels too long. I am setting aside whatever middle-age fantasies I had about myself and I am adding to cart a pair of Birkenstock. I've had my eye on these buffalo plaid babies for a few days but haven't pulled the trigger. Why? See above. This would be my second pair of Birkenstock. I purchased the first pair in a panic when I needed a pair of shoes I could stand in at work. At the time, I had no intention of falling in love with them. I was being practical. It was like going out with the nice guy who isn't particularly your cup of tea. You don't intend to get smitten. But then there's this spark. And next thing you know, you're head over heels. That was me with my Birkenstock. And now I can't get enough. I wear those babies all. the. time. Even when they're not exactly the right shoe for the moment (they're the Buckley, btw, in the color Tea). I can't help it. They make my feet feel so loved. Now I'm moving towards a more traditional Birkenstock: the Arizona. In a festive buffalo plaid with a shearling lining. So cozy! Am I crazy? Possibly. Am I turning into a woman who eats granola and wishes she'd gone to Lilith Fair? I doubt it. But am I pulling the trigger on these Birkenstock? Absolutely.

Yesterday I celebrated my 46th birthday. It was marked with kind words, great food, and a lot of gratitude. As I cut into my Crumbl cookies I made a wish (no, no candles. Who does candles in this post-pandemic era?). I didn't wish for more wishes, world peace, or that Dead To Me would end different (all solid, noble wishes). Instead, I wished that I would look and feel more fashionable. That sounds ridiculous coming from a professed fashionista and a card-carrying shopaholic. This last year has been particularly tough, though, and I'm in need of...I don't know...something. This year I faced a closet crisis where I often didn't know what to wear. I was always missing the right foundational pieces. I wore less than fashionable outfits to places where I should have been the glam in the room. I grieved over the inability to wear heels and begrudgingly embraced socks and 'stocks. In this past year I lost a few pounds and battled with ill fitting clothing. I also took on a job where style is what I do...and yet somehow I'm failing at it. Finally, finances have been a challenge. There were months where I had to make due with what already wasn't serving me. Talk about withdrawals! It's been a lot. So in this next year, I'm wishing to change all that. I predict there will be more closet cleanses and items getting posted to Poshmark (cha-ching!). I will learn to do more budget friendly shopping that results in high end looks (I've got an image - and job - to keep, after all). I'm going to adjust my personal style to my new shoe choices and somehow still be the most stylish woman in the room. Maybe I'll push my own style boundaries a little further than they already are. And I'm going to restock my closet with fashion foundations that actually fit. In other words: I'm getting my fashion shit together.